Merciless Monday (Collateral Damage)

So it’s happened again! This time its multiple bombings in Boston, surroundings the Historic Boston Marathon. Who are these sick people who have no regard for human life? It’s so sad that these people could not come together and run this historic race; and create happy memories. Now instead it will be marred by this tragic event. Lives lost and more than 100 injured, senseless just senseless.

These people are just evil, IMO. No matter what lame ass reason they give. There is no justifiable reason for this act of terror. I’m guessing their intent is to cause fear and change the way we lead our lives, to restrict out freedom and sense of security. I believe this event will do that to an extent, for a while. But so far, as a country, we have been able to bounce back, from past terror attacks, for the most part. There comes a point in time I think we actually forget the danger that lurks in the shadows and we let our guards down. After all we live in the USA, not some Middle Eastern country filled will unrest.
It is MY belief that the effects reach into places that most don’t think about. When a father, mother, son, daughter, sister or brother is taken for WHATEVER reason, it can wreak havoc in lives of those left behind, that is unimaginable. But, my heart leads me to believe that when someone is snatched from you in such a violent and unexpected manner, it has to be far more traumatic than anyone could imagine. No one is EVER the same after such a loss.
Young kids that lose parents must relive that hurt and pain over and over in their lifetime. It resurfaces when the notifications come home for the Father Daughter Dance, and any parent child event, takes place. Please let us not forget, high school / college graduations, weddings, and birth of their children, just to name a few. That pain is there as fresh as it ever was, and the grieving process must be traversed AGAIN. You can rest assured it is not the same every time. These are all times that would be viewed as happy exciting times, yet now they have that little twinge of sadness there. Basically pain and grief became your stalker. It’s always there just waiting in the wings to rear its FUGLY ass head. If only we could decapitate that bastard, throw some holy water on it bury it on sacred ground….sigh.
Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
There is always the potential to get stuck in a stage, and in my opinion getting stuck in anger or depression can be the wreckers of lives. As kids they are not articulate enough or emotionally aware enough to pinpoint those emotions in relation to the loss; they simply act out and YOU have to figure that out and help them through as best you can. And trust me that ride can be as wild and nerve wreaking as heading the wrong way down a One Way Street…Balls to the Wall. As adults this can be challenging as well, I know all too well. But again, we are expected to know how to handle this foreign situation. Senseless killings/deaths can cause decades of chaos and pain.

As the surviving spouse you experience that loss all over again, at all those same times as the kids. And it’s as hard for you as it is for them. When you are used to being a part of a couple, as I was for more than 20 years it’s like learning how to live again without the use of the left side of your body (I’m a lefty). There’s no time for rehab you are simply thrown back out there to continue to live life just as if nothing ever happened. You quickly learn that the world really does not revolve around you; you are simply one of many and are expected to keep it moving. But somehow you MUST figure out how to live again. How long will that take…each journey is as unique as the relationship that was snatched away.

Parents that lose children, I can’t even speak on that. I can’t imagine. That is a foreign journey to me. It’s one I decline the ticket to ride. My offerings on that front would be prayers for peace and guidance.

My point is I feel like those that set off these bombs, have one intended impact and they get that; but it is relatively short-lived. But the deep penetrating wounds that are left are often overlooked, these are the wounds can take decades, possibly lifetimes to heal if ever. These wounds are let open and often untreated are the Collateral Damage.

My prayers go out to those affected by this horrible event that has taken place in Boston today. As well as all who have suffered a premature lost of a loved one and those who continue grieve and hurt in silence.

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