My day started off on such a positive note. Then with about as much warning a lightening strike my mood takes a downward spiral. I found myself becoming more and more agitated as the day wore on. Then I became almost tearful. At some points I even felt almost confused which lead to feeling overwhelmed. And that my be the perfect word for the entire scenario, overwhelmed. As I sat at my desk I began to really realize of girl, you need to get a hold of yourself. Take a minute to regroup. I tried but I was unable to free myself from this web of emotions. I felt as helpless as the fly who found himself entrapped in the silky web of the crafty spider. The difference, my crafty spider is grief, the web, the intricate flow of emotions it so craftily spins.
Luckily for me I noticed the patterns that my grief and the emotions that I experience. Unfortunately, this does not make things any easier. What it does, is allow me to put those closest to me on notice. They know that it is not in my character to be snappy, rude, withdrawn or angry. I know that I need to take timeouts and try and work through my feelings until these “festive” days are done. Grief can be such an overbearing barrage of emotions. Will there ever be freed from this emotional web?